SELF-CONFIDENCE (3)

4. WHAT STOPS US FROM FEELING SELF-CONFIDENT?

       Our confidence is cut off at the knees when we are feeling
fearful. It is also completely stopped when we feel guilty or
discouraged.
       These are the main issues I will be addressing in this
chapter.
       I don’t feel discouraged often but when I do, I learned to
decide that I will allow myself to feel it – and enjoy the feeling.
Now, this may sound a bit strange to you, but the power in this is
that it releases the pent-up feelings that are causing the
discouragement.
       When I decide to enjoy the feeling while it is there, I also

decide to take it easy on myself and stop criticizing myself. Here
is what I say to myself, “Okay, if I am going to feel depressed
today – at least I am going to enjoy it because I don’t get to feel it
very often.” Then I laugh and think about how I can enjoy feeling
like a victim for the day. The simple statement and behavior takes
the pain out of the moment and pretty soon my discouragement
lifts.
        I know it sounds a little crazy but try it and see if it works for
you.
       Try a little experiment, ask yourself, then write down the
answer to this question
What would it feel like to allow myself the complete freedom to
enjoy my misery for a day or two?
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       Too many of us beat up on ourselves way too much. This
process literally kills our spirit and our drive. One of the things I
will discuss with you is how to learn to honor and love yourself on
a completely different level.
       A very simple and effective trick you have heard a million
times (but it always works) is to just put a smile on your face. It is
amazing how this can make you feel different. Smile and don’t let
the smile leave your face for twenty minutes!
       Know that it is a temporary feeling and that many times it is
the darkest before the dawn.
       As soon as you wake up every morning, before you get out
of bed - put a huge smile on your face and name 10 things you
are grateful for in your life. In fact, do it right now!
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       Simple actions like this on a daily basis WILL change how
you feel.